they were laughing. not just for each other, this time--they were really laughing. they could feel familiarity rush thru the room.

when you laugh, you don't realise how happy you are until it's over--until the moment has passed, and a comfortable silence has settled over you.

one of those silences fell. and in the silence she found a sliver of memory. warmth. peace. satisfaction. pure joy. and the next moment, something happened. something changed. no one knew what it was. she wasn't even sure...
what happened? he asked.
nothing..nothing happened, she told him.
they shrugged it into a dark corner
and he never got his answer.

you'd think that in finding those slivers, it would be enough to keep her smiling for ages. and maybe it would have been, once. but here's the thing: she's whispering to nothing. and now, it's the moments when she catches herself...when she can step back and recognise that she's happy--
those are the moments that scare her the most.

it's easier, understand, when she's smiling for them. then she knows it's not real. she can feel that her happiness is manufactured and fickle. but when she feels content, she starts to think that it might be real
and she begins to forget...

nothing. is. real.




i don't want to need dreams, anymore