10.17am, 15 December, 2006

came back for a calculator so i might have a prayer of passing the final. i think god made me forget it on purpose, so i'd have to go back. giving me one last, unexpected chance for a hug goodbye. closed the door behind me, walked out into the cold. did i cry?

even if i had, i wouldn't admit it [except maybe to one]. i don't cry. it's against the rules.

i'm babbling again. rambling on--and on. it's just me and ivan for the next few weeks. it'll be cold. but i'll have his music always playing in my head, and those moving-picture montage memories to go with it.

it's only been 54 hours.

[this is going to be a long three weeks.]