you'll always hear adults instructing children in case they get lost in a store, or a park, what have you--or friends setting a plan in case they're separated. you'll hear one of two instructions. the first involves going to a predesignated meeting place, where you always know you can find one another. somewhere you can go back to, no matter what time it is, or what circumstances you've come across. if you want to find me...this is the spot. the second option is to stay where you are, so the person who you were with can backtrack and figure out where they left you. wandering around can only add to confusion.

people always look harder for something they've lost when it's important, or of value to them.

--
she rambles on and on. i get so tired of hearing her..but alas. i'm stuck with me:

nothing.
i'm sorry..i have a list of things i'm sorry for. apologies and regrets. but i can't share it unless you ask. so many things i can't say--so much that needs to be said.
[someday. when they're listening. when they're ready..if...]
who am i talking to?

*
and i wonder where these Dreams go
when the world gets in your way.
what's the point in all this screaming?
no one's listening anyway..

acoustic #3, goo goo dolls
*

i try not to ask for much. but just a brush on the arm or a shoulder squeeze. or a pat on the back...i'll take what i can get. is that still too much? as obligation. child of circumstance. i think i overstayed my welcome. useless...i'm selfish. and tired of walking alone at night.

one other thing--it's not your fault. it was never your fault.
and thank you.