[as you wish. emptiness and apathy--it's all taboo. he tried to tell me, and i thought i'd heard.]

ask me again. god dammit, ask me again when you actually care what my answer is. why the hell are you sitting there with the same mask you always put up when you talk to me? what happened? what did i do--what makes me so insufficient, so inconsequential that you can't be genuine? is it for your own benefit? does it make you feel better to go through the motions, all talk. just words--so gracefully manipulated, twisted, tasted, poisoned...

dear god. please, please hear me. and never assume you've heard someone just because you've been listening. never.

apathy. you seem so empty. forced conversation--and i'm so cold. i can't stand the emptiness in your eyes. and it's there. not always, but far too often for me to believe i'm of any value to you. there's no evidence, and even less reassurance.

i've never told you--it's alright. if it makes you happy, if it makes life more bearable for you, then i won't say a word more. but how could i know? you want this, don't you. that's why you've placed me here, perhaps even subconsciously. don't worry, i'll stay. i'm not going anwyhere, but you can walk away. forever. i'll stand here handing you another piece of me...

--
think of me
anyway you want
i can be
the problem if that's easier
in your head
move the pieces around
things i've said
turn the memory upside down

and it makes it better i know
but sometimes it's hard to swallow


time, ben folds
--

[speak softly, now--] what are your regrets?