between the lines

'you can't be serious?'
'why wouldn't i be?'
'b-because...that's absurd!'
'is it really? is it all that--you mean to say you're happy.'
'i didn't say that.'
'so you're not then? why do you insist on being unhappy?'
'i don't'
'but you must want to be, since you aren't trying not to be..un-happy, i mean. could you not just stop acting like you're not happy with what you have.'
'i am, alright? i am. i'm fine.'
'you know, i just can't understand you...i think you only want to make me miserable. you're always doing this..'
'what are you talking about? doing what? what am i doing to you, that's making you so miserable?'
'you twist words and --you're trying to make everyone miserable. you just seem best at this game when it's directed at me.'
'this game? i twist words and make everyone miserable? is that it? fine..maybe you're right. maybe i am just that selfish--maybe that is all i have to do with this pathetic life....but in the end, at least i'll have kept a little piece of myself, now won't i?'
'i guess so..you just proved that point on your own, now didn't you?'
'guess i did.'
silence

...

he shoved a cd into the player. they'd been passing words backandforthandbackagain for the past few minutes...
'..and i didn't mean to do it. didn't mean to hurt anyone--but i'm just afraid..'
'hey.'
'yes?'
'you worry about too much.'
'oh--do i now?'
'you do...you're worried about all of these things, this and that. all when you could just listen to the pretty music.'
'the pretty music, you say?'
'yeah, look ..just sit back. be quiet for a minute.'

he reached down, and slowly turned up the volume. they exchanged glances--she sat back, still tense, and he sang along with the music. she felt the sounds around her simply exist. when she looked at him, the peace she saw in his face was almost enough to make her cry. for just one split-second, she thought she might have found it..somewhere. but that second was interupted--time for her to go.
'thank you' she said
'no problem. you'll be alright?'
'oh sure, i'm fine.'
'well still, you'll call if you need anything, won't you?'
she looked at him with one of those sad smiles..and he looked at her, waiting for a reply.
'sure. i will.'
'alright--'
'i owe you..really.'
'goodnight.'
'night.'

...

he held his breath and punched the number into the phone.
'hey--i saw you called?'
'yeah...i did. i was wondering...'
'you were wondering?'
'just thought we could talk, is all.'
'right. so what's on your mind?'
'in person, perhaps?'
'hm. we should catch up. i haven't talked to you in a while.
...ok, we will, sometime. we'll talk.'
'will we?'
'we will.'
'alright'
silence.

and this time, it wasn't just any silence. this was that kind of silence you can feel--like in movies, as a car is flying from a cliff into a rocky mountain side. just before you hear the breaking of glass and twisting of metal around a nearby tree.

after a few minutes passed, he spoke:
'well..ummm...ok--i'll talk to you later then. take care of yourself.'
[and this is the part where you insert sounds of breaking glass]
'please..don't say that'
pause
'say what?'
'...nevermind. 'bye'
''bye.'

....
*disclaimer: these are fictional conversations....any resemblance they have to actual conversations is mostly unintentional.*





smear time. just smear time