a post for Hope.

'It's like there's no hope left, seriously...no one's willing to hope for anything.'

She was right. This, of course, encouraged one of those conversations for which time doesn't exist, yet passes all to quickly. A conversation about hope. Our thoughts flowed amazingly well, and i'm not sure it will ever end up quite this nicely again. So with a little cut, paste, and edit, here it is. Hope.

Not to mention that hope has just been begging for the spotlight--



No. Not many people are willing to hope--not for important things. They hope for that CD for a birthday, or this book to be in the library. But anything more is a bit difficult. Why? ..for no reason other than this: to hope for anything more would mean you expect a possibility for that hope's satisfaction. Expectation--there isn't much you can expect, or should expect ... and if you can't expect something, then hoping seems to leave a lot of empty rooms in that mansion we call Life.

Even thinking about hope for myself feels cold--almost a betrayal, against Life. Should i actually find hope, i don't suppose i could enjoy it. Or shouldn't want to--it would be selfish, would it not? Self-involved. Think of this--if i find hope, i must have looked for it. Now i've spent that much time for myself, when the person i passed on the street yesterday needed that hope more than i, and there's nothing i did to help him.

'Well what do you expect? You can't save everyone.' Of course not. But now that You mention it, i do expect something of myself ... just a selfless glimmer from time to time. You want to talk about stupid americans? Alright, let's. i can talk about it--i can, because i live with Them. among Them. and because i am one. As selfish as the rest of them. Not because i make an effort to make myself happy, but because i don't even take the time to think about it. Not enough, anyway (not that i'm sure enough actually can be achieved)..not until i'm alone--hidden away, quietly in my room with the door closed tightly. Are there other people who notice the same World? Sure--they exist. i'm not quite that self-involved, or self-righteous. Not so much to imagine no one else thinks the way i do, or that no one else believes what i believe. But neither will they allow themselves to think, unless they're behind the safety of their own doors. And why not?

... because the mere hint of pessimism is frowned upon. The mention of anything negative brings upon pity words for the 'poor souls'. words, and nothing more ... and the subject is passed around like a basket of bread until the bread is gone..then They reach for the butter--the next 'table topic' for the sake of social gathering.

Social gathering-society-people. This brings me to a sub-realm of discussion which oversteps a religious boundary..but seeing as it's regarding the religion i've been taught to align myself with, i hardly think i have any reason to hesitate. Besides, this is my blank page.**

People are born of this world. i think no one will refute that. Now--traditional 'christians' will likely argue that man is not meant to be of earth, but of God's kingdom. And i'm not arguing that point. What i do debate comes from the following line of thinking--i quote a pastor: 'There is a problem ... we have come to view sin as natural.' Alright. Pause. Consider this for a moment--yes, i'm asking you to THINK again. Being born of this world.. does this not mean that we are more apt to 'sin'? We are already more tempted to sin, because it is, in fact, natural?? Is that not what makes their 'sin' difficult to resist, and heaven (whatever heaven you should believe in) such a reward??

Don't misunderstand--there are Laws of Life. True sin does exist. Be it against yourself, God, Man, or Life itself... sin, in its most raw form, does exist. All i mean to say is that the sin They're talking about is natural. People do make mistakes because they're made that way. Imperfect.

This is a good segue for going back to people--the very thing that started this mess--yes, people in general are incredibly fallible. Mistakes are made daily. Hourly. Every moment. But i do believe in the 'good' of people. That's what i do hope for--that i'm not wrong in that. If you look hard enough, deep enough, there's good in all people. There it is--i'm not cynical, and i even 'hope'.

Tho, 'good' is also a matter of perception. In this instance, let's assume it's describing one who can find it within himself to follow the basic laws of Life. Shall we?

Which brings us back to perception. i believe the comment i've made more than once is 'perception makes the world go round.' If you can change one's perceptions, you can hold their very thoughts in your hand. Notice i introduced that statement with 'if'. No, you're right--if you can alter perceptions, then those notions weren't steadfast to begin with. But suppose you can alter them (because some perceptions shouldn't be that strong, as they are ultimately incorrect.) ... if you can, you will then have the ability to mold that person's thoughts.. *twist* his vision into something he's never seen before.

But for any of it to matter, for any of it to make a difference, there's a key. Re-educating, re-translating ... re-defining Life. It's not about starting from ground zero and working your way up from scratch. It's about remodeling--you start with whatever foundation has already been established, then rework it, to make sure it's as strong as it can possibly be. It's not tearing down and starting over, it's using what you already have to find your strength. And you can't have someone else do it for you. Reposting an old quote:


'Nobody else can be alive for you; nor can you be alive for anybody else.'
~E. E. Cummings


We can't look too hard--sometimes You just have to listen to yourself. If you stare too far into the horizon, you miss the tree standing right in front of you. ..then again, i'd advise you to try not to miss the sunset.

The thing is, we're all constantly learning, constantly redefining who we are. From a single conversation we learn by listening, interacting, observing. From a single conversation we can see into the person we're talking to, we see into ourselves, and we see into the people who have touched that person's life--other people of the world, society, environments. We learn if we're willing. Not everyone is. Not everyone cares to be. But i imagine they're entitled.

i hope for You--i hope for your peace.



**Disclaimer: the views expressed here are my opinions, i realise, even though i speak of them as if they were truth. Right now, though, they are my truths. Look twice ... perceptions change, even mine. And what is Truth?



why can't i hear the gentle, rhythmic ticking of my clock?