clearly, now i understand some things perfectly. Clearly i always have. i secretly wished them not to be true--i wanted to be wrong. Sometimes i just want to be wrong. Knowing people--understanding people can simultaneously be exquisite and exasperating. The reality is that we likely understand each other far better than either of us could fathom. And the reality is that at times, such understanding feels like taking a walk after a warm rain--when the sky is clear, the ground is warm, and the air sighs with a light breath of relief after the storm. The reality is that other times understanding might as well be a knife slowly ripping into our hearts. That knife though may be the best friend i've found yet. It hides nothing, and never pretends to be anything but the knife it is.

why can't i cry?